


Re-education

by Mychemicalromantic



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, reeducation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 11:43:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1225036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mychemicalromantic/pseuds/Mychemicalromantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil is taken in for re-education and Carlos ends up blaming himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Carlos?" Cecil asked shakily, tapping his boyfriend's shoulder with a trembling hand. "Mmm... Yeah, _cariño_?" "I... I need you to wake up." "Five more minutes..." "Please, it's important." Cecil tried to keep the desperate fear out of his voice, but it was no use. Carlos sat up immediately, thin blanket falling off his torso to reveal burnt-caramel skin. There was concern in his dark eyes as he turned to Cecil (though he couldn't make out the fear in Cecil's eyes; his glasses lay forgotten on the nightstand behind him). "What's wrong?" "They're... They're taking me in for reeducation." That made it real. A cross Daniel handing him the letter seemed like a dream, a haze of his heart pounding in his ears and him being, remarkably, stunned speechless. But hearing it spoken out loud... That confirmed it. A weight settled in Cecil's stomach and he shuddered. "Oh, _querido_... I'm so sorry. After the evening broadcast, like before?" "Yeah... By the station..." Carlos gathered Cecil up against his chest and sighed, holding him close. "I'm so sorry..." "It's not your fault." "I know. I just wish I could help." "It's me, I shouldn't have mentioned the flaws in the Strex system." "But they don't have to hurt you for it..." "It's just the way it is, I guess... I'm gonna be late for the early broadcast if I don't get going." "Alright... can I come see you during lunch? I'll make something." "Pasta?" Cecil asked hopefully, managing a little smile. All three lilac eyes looked at Carlos imploringly. "If that's what you want." The older of the two kissed the radio host's forehead, beside his third eye. Cecil stood up. "I love you." "I love you too, _querido_. See you later?" "Yeah. See you." With that, the taller, slimmer man left the room. Carlos listened for the slam of the apartment door before he even considered getting up.


	2. Chapter 2

Cecil took a deep breath before pushing open the door to his booth, everything in its place for what he knew would be the last time in a while. "A dying breath. A shoulder to cry on. Relief from pain, only to be trapped alone in the void for all eternity and beg for your broken body. Welcome to Night Vale." He let himself get lost in the familiarity of it all- the buzz of the neon "ON AIR" sign just audible through his headset, the microphone dangling in front of his face, the familiar weight of headphones against his ears that blocked all sound. He only snapped out of his reverie when Carlos- dear, sweet Carlos, he thought- showed up at his lunch break with linguine- Cecil's favorite- and a shaky smile. "Hey, Ceec. I came to see you." "I guessed. Wanna sit outside?" "Sure. It's not too hot out." Cecil leaned down slightly for a quick kiss and took Carlos' hand. "I love you," Carlos murmured. "I know. I love you too." The older of the two took a deep breath. "Try not to forget..." "Carlos, honey, I won't. I'm not going to forget." Cecil squeezed his hand softly. "I promise, I couldn't ever forget you." "Thank you..." The two did the best to distract each other from what they knew was coming and though dread formed knots in their stomachs, it was an hour full of Cecil's overenthusiastic giggling and Carlos' soft laughter. "I'll see you later, _querido_ ," Carlos murmured as Daniel came out, glaring at Cecil. "I love you." Cecil gave him a gentle kiss goodbye and with an airy wave headed back in. With leaden feet, Carlos trudged back to his car- he couldn't be missed at the lab today. "Goodnight, Night Vale... G-goodnight." Carlos didn't miss the slight hiccup in Cecil's usually strong voice. There was an unmistakable waver of fear that broke the scientist's heart- if only there was some way he could help. "Oh, _querido_..." he murmured to the radio, too quietly for anyone bustling around him to hear.


	3. Chapter 3

Carlos pulled up beside the radio station, sweating hands slipping off the wheel of their car. He felt sick with anticipation, stomach churning in his throat and legs weak and numb. Cecil emerged only a few minutes later, half-dragged by a lone intern. His dress shirt was blood-soaked and torn and his own dark purple blood covered the lower half of his face. Carlos jumped out of the car, taking Cecil's limp, barely-conscious form from the intern and gathering his boyfriend's lanky frame to his chest.

"Thank you," he mouthed at the intern before she turned to go inside. She nodded mutely and scurried into the station building. Carlos carefully laid Cecil in the backseat of the car before driving home a little faster than was entirely legal. The scientist carried Cecil, who was now fully unconscious, into their apartment and laid him in the explosion of pillows and overstuffed cushions they called a couch. He cradled Cecil's head in his lap until the younger man jolted awake and began crying hard.

"Ceec, hey, hey, shhh.... Shhh, _cariño_ , it's just me. It's Carlos. You're safe now."

"C-Carlos?"

"Yeah, Cecil. It's me. I've got you. You're home." Cecil broke down completely, shuddering and gasping for air.

"Cecil, Cecil, it's okay. It's okay now. You're safe. See? You're home, it's over. Is there anything you want me to do?"

"Just... Need a bath."

"Yeah, okay. I hate to say it, but I think this shirt is pretty much done for."

"Smells like blood anyways... Don't want it."

"Fortunate," Carlos murmured, carefully picking his boyfriend up and carrying him into the bathroom of their apartment. He laid Cecil in the bathtub and shimmied off his pants and boxers, mumbling soft apologies as the younger man gasped and stiffened, biting at his lip to keep from crying out. The black fabric stuck to the wide, shallow wounds covering Cecil's legs, making grotesque tearing noises with each hesitant movement of Carlos' hands.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. It'll hurt less if I do it now." He nodded mutely, face contorted with agony. The waistcoat, though bloodless and easily unbuttoned, made Cecil cry out as the other man gently pulled it from his shoulders.

"Sorry! Sorry." Carlos kissed his forehead delicately. "Will I need to cut the shirt off?"

"Probably..."

"Alright. I'll be right back, okay? I'll go get scissors."

He returned seconds later to find Cecil vomiting, only able to halfway drag himself out of the bathtub. His arms were trembling with exertion as he kept himself propped up over the toilet. Carlos placed a hand gingerly over the small of Cecil's back, rubbing gently.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay," he murmured, kissing Cecil's ear as he sobbed. After the younger man had collapsed back into the bathtub, Carlos began cutting away the white button-down shirt, pulling it from the deep bloody wounds and apologizing again and again as Cecil cried out in what sounded like agony.

"Almost done. Almost done, then we can get you all cleaned up. It's gonna be okay." "O-okay..." "You're safe now. I promise." Cecil broke into a fresh round of tears at that. Carlos tried not to wince, too afraid of saying the wrong thing to speak. He felt like crying at the sheer anguish on his boyfriend's face, but couldn't. For Cecil, he couldn't cry. Four deep, ragged cuts ran down Cecil's chest- they looked almost like claw marks. Carlos murmured a "tell me if it's hot," coming out more like a question, and turned on the taps. Cecil slumped into the warm water, head lolling back against the rim. He still looked agonized, tears dripping down his contorted face and entire body trembling as he sobbed. Carlos reached up to rinse the blood from Cecil's face and gasped at what he saw. Twin cuts stretched up from the corners of his lips, splitting the younger man's face up to the center of his previously smooth, unblemished cheeks. Thankfully, they were fairly shallow and had stopped bleeding.

"Believe in a smiling god, and you, too. will smile," was all Cecil said in way of explanation.

"Cecil... Oh, Cecil, I'm so sorry..."

"Not your fault..." Carlos kissed his temple and quickly finished cleaning the blood and dirt off.

"Okay, querido, I have to go get bandages for your chest. I don't think I can cover up all the skin on your legs, but they'll stop sticking within a day or so..."

Cecil whined and nodded. Before long, Carlos had tucked him in bed and was calling the radio station to tell them the host wouldn't be in for a week or two. The younger man spent about half those two weeks in bed, only speaking to call out hoarsely for Carlos when the nightmares were bad. After each weak, teary little cry Carlos would immediately stop what he was doing and lie beside Cecil, holding him carefully against his chest, as tight as he dared, and carding gentle fingers through his hair until he stopped shaking.


	4. Chapter 4

Cecil stumbled into Carlos' office on weak legs and half-collapsed onto the scientist seated in a desk chair, filling out lab reports. "Hey, _querido_. Good to see you up and walking," he mumbled, kissing his boyfriend's temple and pulling him into his lap. "Hi..." "And talking, too, look at that." "I... Yeah." He smiled a little, blushing purple as Carlos kissed his forehead. "Good. I'm glad to see the sudden recovery." "I'm cold," Cecil mumbled, leaning against his boyfriend. "Alright. Want to watch movies on the couch?" Cecil giggled and, _wow_ , that was a nice sound. Carlos stood and carried him, despite his halfhearted, laughing protests, to the couch and fell back with the younger man still in his arms. "You're so beautiful," Carlos murmured, pressing his nose softly to Cecil's. Cecil froze and slowly shook his head, smile vanishing. "I mean it, it's true." "No, it isn't... I'm ugly and selfish. I don't even do my job right. I use the radio for my own purposes. I'm worth nothing and no one really cares," he recited in a monotone, all three eyes dull and lifeless. "Is that what they told you in there?" "They made me see.. Made me see I'm no good, and no one really cares and I'm a freak, even by _Night Vale_ standards..." Carlos gasped softly. "No, that's not true, no no no. Oh, _querido_... No." "Please..." he mumbled shakily. "Please don't touch me... I can't handle it. Not right now. I thought I was ready..." That stung, but Carlos set him on the couch and moved away, eyeing his boyfriend worriedly. "I have to tell you. Don't hate me," the younger man blurted out, not meeting his eyes. "I couldn't hate you, never. It's okay." "Alright... I... You know how there's a second floor to the station? Daniel told me it was up there. I went up the stairs and... And he was there." "Who was?" "You, I thought..." "Wait. What?" "You know how you never saw your double during the sandstorm? It was him." Carlos gasped. "Oh, _querido_..." "I thought it was you at first," he murmured. "I was so excited. I thought you were there to tell me it was all over, that you'd talked them out of it somehow... But then he shoved me back into a chair and... All of a sudden, I couldn't move. I was stuck there from the shoulders down. He..." Cecil's voice began to falter as tears sparkled in his lavender eyes and Carlos felt his heart shatter. "He hit me hard, across the cheek. His hands... That's when I knew it wasn't you. He had claws! He told me... I was ugly and dirty and broken, no one would ever really love me... I've done too much to be loved. You wouldn't even love me if you knew what I'd done, Carlos... But he kept telling me how selfish I was... How I can't even report right, I always go on talking about my personal life... It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. But... Anyways... It kept on like that. He'd tell me the same thing over and over. I'd keep fighting in the chair, thinking 'this can't be him, Carlos wouldn't do this to you' but every time he said it and I struggled and tried to think about you... He started with my legs. He peeled the skin off, so slow... After that... I was screaming and definitely struggling less... He kept repeating it, and cut down my chest so deep, just a tiny bit at a time... All I could think at that point was that it was you, he sounded just like you... I was really out of it, please don't hate me... Oh, gods, the things Strex does are so much worse than what the City Council ever did- could ever do. The worst part is, I didn't even forget anything... I can't even forget what they did to me there... There was so much blood!" He began crying in earnest, reaching out. Carlos hugged him tight and pressed soft lips to the top of his head, murmuring "you're beautiful, no matter what they try to tell you" every so often into his long, carefully braided dark hair. He began to cry hot, silent tears into Cecil's hair, keeping his sobs quiet enough that hopefully the younger man wouldn't hear. Finally, Cecil fell into a deep sleep against his shoulder, a smile on his face for the first time in weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

Carlos drowned himself in work for months afterwards. He'd go into the lab well before Cecil woke up and come back just before he went to sleep. At nights he'd stay up late, sobbing into the pillows. Cecil would curl up close against him, but that only ever made the crushing guilt worse.   
"Why couldn't you help?" the little voice in the back of his mind mocked. "Too weak to save your pathetic little boyfriend? You're... So... Useless. He'd be better off without you anyways. He doesn't really love you. It's just for your looks. You'd never be anything to anyone... No one will ever love you."   
Carlos would lie there, feeling like he was being crushed into bed, until the sun rose and he could fling himself headfirst into Night Vale's oddities, taking things apart and putting them back together. His coworkers leered away, afraid of his fierce lashing out that had become trademark. Cecil would wake up from nightmares only to find Carlos sobbing into the pillows. Then, the older man would desperately try to stifle his sobs to comfort Cecil, waiting until he was asleep again to try to join him in something resembling rest.


	6. Chapter 6

One night, Cecil finally confronted him. Almost as soon as the scientist got in the door, Cecil had him cornered.   
"Carlos. I need to talk to you. Sit, couch, now."  
The older man's dark eyes widened and he winced.   
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "This was all my fault."   
"Just sit down, okay?" Cecil murmured in the low, smooth radio voice he knew Carlos loved so much.   
He nodded and sat down on the couch, sinking into the cushions. He sat on the edge of the tan fabric, staring at everything but Cecil. He looked nervous.   
"Carlos, honey, what's been going on? You've been acting funny for weeks."   
"It's my fault..." he mumbled.   
"What is?"  
"Everything. I let them take you away... Let them hurt you. I didn't do enough to stop them, or help you..."  
"That was weeks ago, sweetie, I'm pretty much okay now. Why are you beating yourself up over it?"  
"I should've helped..."  
Cecil crawled closer and kissed his cheek.   
"You did everything you could, okay? Don't blame yourself. Can I ask why you've been avoiding me all the time?"   
"I thought you'd hate me..."  
"Carlos, no, I couldn't hate you. It wasn't anything you did, no matter how much he looked like you. You helped as much as anyone ever could. Is this what's been eating at you? Or was it the throat spiders?"  
Carlos laughed weakly.  
"Not the throat spiders, no. It's okay."  
"Good. Do you wanna go to the diner? Rico's is probably closed."   
"It looked open when I drove home. I wasn't paying attention, though."  
"Let's go, then."  
Cecil kissed him softly and took his hand, leading him out into the warm night air.


End file.
